Sunglasses on the Subway

I'm on the subway, going southbound from St. George. The man in front of me is wearing sunglasses. Why do they do that? Is it because it's so sunny in the mostly underground routes? Maybe it's the flourescent lights that light up Museum station. Maybe the likes to sleep, and don't want to look ridiculous? But wouldn't you be most concerned about your mouth hanging open, tounge leaking drool in your left corner, than your eyeslashes twittering or whatever talent they might posses.

Though I do know for a fact that this man is not worried about the fluorescent lights or sleeping. For one, he is incredibly tanned having me believe that he is a fan of the sun. And no it is not sprayed on - he is in fact flaunting a very unattractive croc tan. Secondly, he's wide awake. Wide awake and staring right at me. Wide awake and thinking that I don't know. Possibly the main reason why people wear sunglasses on the subway trains, besides the fact they think they're cool, is so they can stare wherever they like and not look like a complete creep. But let this be a reminder: if you do on intend on being the "cool"-creep you are, make sure your sunglasses are FULLY tinted. Because dude, I can fully see your pupils glaring right through.

King starion, my stop. As I leave he smiles, completely throwing away the purpose of his sunglasses. You see, it wouldn't have been creepy if you didn't have the not-really-tinted specs on, creep. I say, take them off! Be proud of the creep you are, stop trying to hide it!