Mindless

When everything seems alright, it never is. It's just a tempoary cover up. Or a ticking time bomb counting how long it takes for you to realize what it truly is. The longer it takes, the more stupid you are. Evidence proven. Evidence or not, you don't want to uncover the truth. If you did uncover it, you want to cover it all up again. Pretend it never happened. Truth is, and I am sure I am not the only one, there's a tiny feeling that you feel within your body. Specifically between your lungs and at the bottom of your stomach.

But they can be put away momentarily with some mental guidance. "That never happened" Evidence is there, shoving it in your face. Evidence being that you're having to tell yourself that "That never happened".

I'm either crazy, stupid, childish or even all of the above. I'm crazy for bringing it back to life. I'm stupid for still being here. I'm childish for believe this will last. That's the thing. I really really reaaaally, want it to last. I want what he says, because it is what I want. I just hope that he genuinely means it and believes it. We'll see how this goes.

This only came up because I was on the devil-site of a Facebook and I saw my Inbox and saw really old msgs. Really old as in from two years ago from him. July 3rd 2007 is the day he sent me that ridiculous msg that we both can't believe I replied to. Sad, sad, sad. But do I regret it? No. Will I eventually? What I have with him is unbelievable. So no.